I can’t say that I grew up going to church. There was a church within walking distance of my house that my grandparents went to, so I went there on Christmas and Easter, and a few other times throughout the year, but I wasn’t raised under any sort of memorable Christian influence outside of that. I mean, all due respect to my grandparents, without whom I probably would have never gone to church or seen someone read the Bible, but I don’t remember even praying before meals.
I did try to become a Christian when I was in my mid twenties because I was desperate to find decent people to spend time with. It worked for a few months, but then I started asking questions and all I got in response was - “you have to figure that out for yourself.”
Well, OK, so I’ve been figuring it out for myself ever since then. Needless to say, I didn’t continue on in my efforts to be a Christian any longer.
Then I got married (at age 25), went to college (at age 27), and had a couple kids (at age 33 and 35). One day my wife decided to sign the kids up for Sunday school at a church that her friends went to. They just happened to also have adult Sunday school too, so we ended up staying for that.
By this time I was 36 years old. I had been studying Buddhism and Stoic philosophy for a while and I had my own philosophy of life that I was operating under. I didn’t have any inner peace about it, but it gave me something to chart a course by, if you will.
Well, in that adult Sunday school class we were supposed to answer the question - “what would your life look like if you lived like Jesus?” (or something to that effect) Well, I started to share my philosophy of how to be responsible and live in a way that benefits both yourself and everyone around you. It’s basically the concept of having circles of people around you at different levels, and you in the center. You get most of your attention, and then each successive circle gets differing levels of your attention the farther away they get from you. My theory was that if everyone lived that way, and took care of their inner circles, then there wouldn’t be much need for anyone to really mess with the outer-most circle (other nations, and the world in general). I didn’t get any arguments from anyone, just some nodding heads, and then the conversation went on as the next person spoke.
And what happened next was completely internal to me. Nobody else even knew about it. I got this feeling that I am not supposed to be in the center of those circles, God is. It felt like God said to me in that moment - that’s a great theory, but there’s one problem with it - you’re in the way! I got the message that I needed to get out of the way - take myself out of the center and put God in the center - and a sense of peace and joy swept over me like I had never felt before.
When we got home from church that morning I went to the basement where I could be alone for a few minutes and prayed to God and basically said God I surrender my life to you. I want you to be in the center of my life, and I will get out of the way. From that moment I felt like God filled a hole in my heart and that inner-peace that I had been so desperately seeking for so many years was finally satisfied - as has remained so to this day. I started singing, and I started reading the Bible, and then found a church and got involved there, and my life has never been the same since.
In the past 4 years I have learned how to write and give a sermon. I’ve played bass guitar with the worship team. I’ve gone to a couple of men’s retreats with the church. And I’ve studied the Bible - a lot.
…And now it’s been 8 years and I’ve had several super-natural experiences with God, and everyday I just want to be with Him more and more. And I just feel more and more love from Him, and for Him…